Wednesday, December 9, 2009

What Really Grinds My Gears: The Movie Edition

Do you know what pisses me off more than anything? Paying $10 to see a movie. Not because I think it's overpriced. But because I have to sit in a theater filled with morons.

Things that piss me off:

1) People that talk throughout the movie while sitting next to my friend Dan "The Man" Wingo. You're not funny for doing so, and you're making those around you want to stab you in the f-ing face.

2) People that text during the movie, causing the light to shine directly in my eyes. You're not that important. Put the phone away and talk to your lame friends later. They're probably even less valuable than you.

3) People that laugh at inappropriate times. For example, I went to see "Brothers" last weekend. As you can tell from the previews, there are several intense dramatic scenes. Instead of sitting in silence or shock, many people busted out laughing at the serious dialogue. There should be a minimum IQ and maturity level to see this type of film. So for the people that laughed: STFU and GTFO!

4) Another shot at stupid people. I hate when one man or woman thinks they have figured something out before the rest. In "Brothers" there's a scene depicting a hangover for Jake Gyllenhaal's character. This woman sitting near me laughed hard enough to be heard by all the 14-year-old girls seeing "New Moon" for the third time. She didn't say anything, but I knew exactly what she was thinking. "Ooooooohhhhhh!!! He's got a hangover! I know more about this than anyone here, and no one else has even figured out what's going on!" This woman is what I like to call stupid. And she should never be allowed to see a non-Cameron Diaz/Sandra Bullock movie.

That's all I've got for now. What really grinds your gears?


  1. When people point out the insanely obvious. Like saying, "That's a chicken" when a chicken is in the frame (this actually happened).

  2. When there are fifteen billion empty seats in the theater, but they choose to sit in the chair directly in front of you, no big deal that your feet have already claimed that chair

  3. Haha or sit directly behind you and talk throughout the movie like no one else is in the theater